Lalia Pearce5 months agoI’m a 29-year-old woman, and I’m struggling to move on after being led on by a guy who is now engaged. This guy and I have known each other since childhood, and he had a huge crush on me for years. We started casually seeing each other about six months before he abruptly cut me off in 2017, saying he was leaving for law school. But a few months later, I found out he was in a new relationship. I was really hurt because he had pursued me so intensely, then suddenly went cold. After I blocked him, he reached out through a mutual friend to invite me to a game night in 2020, wanting to reconnect. By then, I had moved on. During that game night, we were drinking, and I told him how hurt I had been. He apologized and said he hated that our friendship was affected by what happened, admitting that he loved and cared for me. We ended up hooking up that night, both of us cheating on our partners. After that, I unblocked him on social media, and we would interact on Instagram from time to time. He’d comment on my pictures and ask if I was still in a relationship. The last time we spoke over Instagram was two months before he got engaged. During that time, he was still sending flirty messages and heart emojis. When he posted his engagement, I was shocked and heartbroken. I had no idea he had a girlfriend. I felt deceived because, even though I didn’t directly ask, he had to have known he was about to propose while he was still being flirty with me. This is the second time he’s rejected me, and I can’t seem to move on from it. I’m also having trouble letting go because we have so many mutual friends who will likely be at his wedding. Now, in response to your question: First of all, it’s understandable to feel hurt, confused, and even betrayed by his actions. The emotional connection you shared, both in the past and more recently, made it easy for him to lead you on. However, it's crucial to prioritize your own healing and well-being now that you know he’s engaged. Here are a few suggestions to help you move forward: Acknowledge your feelings: It's normal to feel upset when someone you trusted has hurt you. Allow yourself to feel those emotions fully without judgment. You can’t move on unless you give yourself the space to process everything. Set boundaries: As difficult as it might be, it’s important to set clear boundaries with him. This means unfollowing or muting him on social media, and not engaging in any further contact. Even though you share mutual friends, keeping distance from him will give you the space to heal. Focus on yourself: Take time to focus on your own life and well-being. Engage in activities that make you feel good, whether it's spending time with loved ones, picking up a new hobby, or working on personal growth. The more you focus on yourself, the less you’ll be tied to the hurt he caused. Reflect on your worth: You deserve someone who is fully committed to you, not someone who has been leading you on or hiding their intentions. His actions are a reflection of his character, not your value. Process your emotions with trusted friends: It can help to talk with your friends about how you feel. Just knowing that people around you care can provide comfort. Since you have mutual friends, it’s likely they understand the situation and can offer perspective and support. Accept the reality: It’s tough to accept that he’s engaged and that you were misled. However, it’s important to face the reality of the situation to start healing. The fact that he is now with someone else is a clear sign that he is not the right person for you. Let go and give yourself time: Healing from emotional hurt takes time. It’s okay to be patient with yourself, knowing that you’ll eventually come to terms with the situation. Remember that moving on is a journey, and it’s okay to take small steps toward emotional freedom. Be kind to yourself and trust that with time, the pain will subside and you’ll be stronger for it. 1755
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