Edwyna Harrietta year agoI’m really close to one of my brothers, and he recently told us that he’s getting married in two months. I’m the only girl, so I’ve always been the one to get the most attention from him, and now I’m worried he won’t care for me the way he used to. Every time he talks about the wedding, I just want to cry, and I’ve been hiding to do so. I’m scared that I’ll cry on the day of the wedding and the bride will think I’m not happy for them when that’s not the case. It’s just that I feel really sad. I’m also upset because I wasn’t prepared for this change. He never introduced me to his fiancée, and I’ll only meet her at the wedding. I’ve been living with my brothers for the past few years, and now I’m going to be alone. I’m crying as I write this because I’m overwhelmed. I’m just really confused about my emotions and don’t know how to handle or control them. Response and Advice: First off, I want to acknowledge that your feelings are completely understandable. Change, especially when it involves someone you love deeply like your brother, can bring up a lot of emotions. It's natural to feel sadness, fear, and even a sense of loss when a close relationship evolves. Here are a few things to consider and steps you can take to navigate this emotional experience: Acknowledge Your Feelings: You’re going through a lot of emotional turmoil right now, and it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to feel this way. It’s normal to be sad about the shift in your relationship with your brother, especially when you’ve been so close. Letting yourself feel these emotions is important for healing and understanding why you’re feeling the way you are. Talk to Your Brother: You may not have had the chance to express how you’re feeling yet. Having an honest conversation with your brother about your emotions could help clear the air and bring you some comfort. He may not even realize how much this change is affecting you, and talking to him could make you feel more connected and supported. You could share that you're excited for his new chapter but also feeling a little left behind, as your relationship with him is shifting. He might offer reassurance and help you feel more secure. Give Yourself Time to Adjust: This is a big life change for both of you, and it's okay to need time to adjust. You’re grieving the shift in your dynamic, and that’s a normal reaction to something as significant as a marriage. Take time for self-care and allow yourself to process your feelings without judgment. Consider Your Relationship with His Fiancée: It sounds like you haven’t had a chance to get to know his fiancée yet, and that can feel unsettling. If possible, you could reach out to her before the wedding, perhaps in a casual setting, to build a connection. This might help ease the uncertainty you’re feeling about meeting her for the first time at such a big event. It’s important to give yourself the opportunity to see that she’s part of your brother’s life and that this doesn’t have to diminish the bond you share with him. Manage Your Emotions in Public: If you’re worried about crying on the wedding day, it could help to prepare yourself beforehand. You don’t have to suppress your emotions, but finding a quiet space to release them before the ceremony or taking a few deep breaths to ground yourself might help you manage your emotions in the moment. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling, and it’s okay to take a step back if needed. Stay Connected: Even though your living situation will change, it doesn’t mean you’ll lose the closeness you have with your brother. He’s still your brother, and you can continue to nurture that relationship as you both adjust to new life circumstances. Staying connected with him and the rest of your family can also help you feel supported as you process your emotions. Seek Support: If you're feeling overwhelmed by your emotions and need someone to talk to, it might help to lean on other trusted family members, friends, or even a therapist. Talking things through with someone can give you perspective and provide emotional support as you work through this transition. Remember, it’s okay to feel sad about the changes in your relationship with your brother. Change can be difficult, but it doesn’t mean you’ll lose the special bond you share. By expressing your feelings, taking time for self-care, and adjusting to the new dynamics in your life, you’ll be able to navigate this shift in a healthy way. 1127
Edwyna HarriettEdwyna Harriett