Rosamond Britton5 months agoMy girlfriend (24) has developed one of the worst attitudes I’ve ever encountered. It wasn’t like this when we first started dating 4 years ago, but over the last 2 years, it’s gotten progressively worse. Even over the smallest things, she will react with an attitude. It wouldn’t be as hard to deal with if she didn’t want to talk constantly on the phone, but I feel like I have no space or break from it. Whenever I do something small or insignificant, I get a sarcastic or mean response in return. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but every time I bring it up, it just makes her attitude worse, and she gets even angrier. I’m at a breaking point. I don’t want to throw away 4 years of our relationship, but it’s really frustrating and making me upset. Should I keep trying to work things out, or is it time to walk away? Answer & Advice: First off, it's clear you're struggling with a lot of frustration, and it's completely understandable to feel at your breaking point after enduring a difficult situation for such a long time. Relationships are about mutual respect, and when one partner starts to treat the other poorly, it’s important to address the issue. Here are a few things to consider: 1. Understand the Root Cause: It’s important to try to understand why her attitude has shifted. While it may seem like it's simply a matter of her personality, there may be underlying factors contributing to her behavior, such as stress, unresolved personal issues, or feeling unappreciated. Have you noticed any patterns? Does her attitude worsen in certain situations (like when she’s stressed, tired, or overwhelmed)? 2. Setting Boundaries: It’s okay to set boundaries in a relationship, even with someone you care about deeply. If you feel like you’re constantly under pressure to be available and talk 24/7, that’s something you need to address. It’s okay to take space for yourself, and that doesn’t mean you love her any less. Healthy relationships require space and balance. Have a calm conversation where you express your need for a bit of time apart to recharge and explain that it's about taking care of your emotional well-being. 3. Communicating Your Needs: You mentioned that you’ve tried talking to her about the issue, but it makes things worse. When conversations get heated, it's easy for both people to become defensive. Try approaching the conversation in a non-confrontational way. Instead of focusing on her attitude, talk about how it makes you feel. You could say something like, "I feel frustrated when the tone of our conversations becomes negative, and it makes me feel distant from you. I want to find a way for us to communicate better." 4. Consider Couple's Counseling: If the attitude continues to escalate and you both are struggling to communicate effectively, it may be helpful to explore couples therapy. A professional can help you both work through the underlying issues in your relationship, improve communication, and help break unhealthy patterns of behavior. 5. Evaluating the Relationship: It’s okay to acknowledge when things are no longer working for you. Four years is a significant amount of time, and it’s hard to walk away from that, but you need to ask yourself: Is this relationship still bringing you happiness and growth? If her attitude and behavior continue to negatively affect your mental health and well-being, it may be time to reassess whether staying in this relationship is the right choice for you. Ultimately, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected, heard, and supported. It’s important to have difficult conversations, but it’s equally important to protect your emotional health. If she is unwilling to listen and change, or if things don’t improve over time, it might be time to seriously consider your next steps. It’s not easy, but sometimes the best thing for both parties is to take a step back and assess the situation with a clear mind. 1115
Rosamond BrittonRosamond Britton