Wilfreda Moses5 months agoI (25) have had a best friend since first grade, but she suddenly ghosted me, and I have no idea why. We’ve been through so much together, from growing up and facing challenges to having countless arguments that we’ve always worked through. But this time is different—there was no fight, no warning, nothing. One day, she just stopped responding. It’s been almost a year now, and I’ve tried reaching out multiple times, even begging her to block me so I wouldn't keep trying. But at this point, I don’t know what else to do. How do you get over this kind of loss? It feels like I’m grieving someone who has passed away. The thought that I may have done or said something to hurt her is consuming me, and I don’t know how to fix it or move on. Response & Advice: Acknowledge the Grief: Losing a friend in this way can feel just as painful as the loss of a loved one. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed with grief, confusion, and regret, especially when the cause of the distancing is unclear. You’re mourning a relationship that was important to you, and that pain is valid. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with it and give yourself time to process. Understand That It's Not Always About You: As hard as it may be, the reason for her behavior might not necessarily have anything to do with you. People change, and sometimes they distance themselves for reasons that have nothing to do with their friends. She might be going through something personal or may have decided she needs space in a way that she can’t express. It’s important to recognize that sometimes, the reasons behind someone’s actions are beyond your control, and their decisions don’t reflect your worth. Stop Blaming Yourself: It’s easy to jump into the mindset that you must have done something wrong, but unless she has communicated it to you directly, you can’t be sure. It’s important to not let guilt consume you, as it will only hold you back from healing. You’ve already reached out and made efforts to understand her perspective, but it’s important to release yourself from the belief that you are responsible for her choices. Set Boundaries: Continuing to reach out, especially if she’s not responding, can keep you stuck in a place of longing and frustration. If she’s unwilling to engage, it’s time to respect her space and focus on your own healing. Setting boundaries, such as stopping attempts to contact her, might help you begin to move forward. It might be painful, but it could also be the necessary step for your emotional well-being. Focus on Self-Care: Use this time to take care of yourself and heal. Reflect on the relationship, but also work on personal growth. This could be a time to connect with other friends, focus on hobbies, or pursue activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Taking time to nurture yourself can help you gradually heal from the pain and start to shift your focus away from the loss. Understand That Moving On Takes Time: There is no set timeline for grief or healing. It might take time before you can fully come to terms with the situation. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the grace to heal at your own pace. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Consider Reaching Out Again—With Clear Intentions: If you feel that it’s the right time and you’re ready, you could consider trying one last time to reach out to her, but this time with clear intentions. Instead of begging for answers or apologies, simply express that you’re thinking of her and that you care about her, but you’re also trying to heal. Sometimes, reaching out without expectations can create the space for a more honest conversation, if she’s open to it. Final Thoughts: It’s incredibly painful to lose someone, especially a long-time friend, without closure. But remember, you’ve done your best to understand what happened, and now it’s time to shift the focus to your own healing. Over time, the pain will lessen, and you’ll begin to move forward, knowing that you did everything you could to preserve the friendship. Keep taking care of yourself, and trust that life has a way of bringing new connections when you’re ready. 1108
Wilfreda MosesWilfreda Moses