Khloe October6 months agoI (23F) feel really jealous of my best friend’s (23F) relationship, and I’m not sure how to handle it. I’m bisexual, and she’s a lesbian. We met online and have been best friends for about two years now. We’ve even visited each other in person. Recently, I found out she’s dating a mutual friend (though I’m not very close to this person). I found out through an Instagram post. I’m not sure if I’ve developed romantic feelings for my best friend, but I’m feeling incredibly sad and jealous. I always wanted to be her number one person, just like she is to me. But I know that’s no longer the case. Part of me feels like I should cut ties with her and never talk to her again, but I know that’s not a mature solution. The truth is, it’s just too painful to be friends with her right now, and I’m not sure what to do next. Response & Advice: Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s completely normal to feel jealous, especially when someone you care about deeply enters a new romantic relationship. You’ve been close to your best friend for a long time, and your connection is significant. Your feelings are valid, even if they are uncomfortable or confusing. Reflect on Your Emotions: It’s important to take some time to reflect on whether your feelings are stemming from romantic attraction or just the pain of realizing that things are changing. Sometimes, jealousy can arise when we feel like we’re losing someone or no longer hold the same place in their life. Whether or not this is a sign of romantic feelings, it’s worth exploring why it hurts and what you need emotionally. Give Yourself Space: If being around her is too painful right now, it’s okay to take a step back. This doesn’t mean ending the friendship permanently, but it can give you the space you need to process your feelings without the added intensity of constant contact. Taking a break can help clear your mind and gain perspective on what you want moving forward. Communicate Openly: Once you’ve had some time to reflect, consider having an open and honest conversation with your best friend. It might be helpful to express that you’re feeling hurt or jealous but also explain that you’re working through these emotions. You don’t necessarily need to declare your feelings for her, but sharing your emotional struggle could lead to a deeper understanding between the two of you. Consider Boundaries: It might be helpful to set boundaries that protect your emotional well-being, especially if being around her or hearing about her new relationship is triggering negative feelings. This could involve limiting conversations about her romantic life or deciding how often you engage with her while you work through things. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to talk to a counselor or a trusted friend who can help you process your emotions. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can provide clarity and support during difficult times. Give Yourself Time: Emotional healing takes time, especially when navigating complicated feelings like jealousy. It’s okay to not have all the answers right now, and it’s okay to take things slow. Whether or not you decide to maintain the friendship in the long term, give yourself the grace to process your emotions at your own pace. Final Thoughts: Navigating emotions of jealousy and unspoken feelings can be really challenging, but it’s important to be kind to yourself throughout the process. Whether you choose to work through these feelings and remain friends or decide that space is what you need, honoring your emotional experience is key. 154
Khloe OctoberKhloe October