Maude Ivor5 months agoMy girlfriend gets so much attention from other guys, and it honestly makes me really sad. There are so many guys who like her, and some even used to be obsessed with her. It makes me upset sometimes, even though I trust her completely and know she would never cheat on me. I think part of it is jealousy, too. I don’t really get much attention myself, but with her, it feels like everyone is complimenting her or talking about her. People don’t even seem to notice me at all, and it’s hard for me to handle. How do I deal with these feelings? Response & Advice: First of all, it’s completely normal to feel the way you do, especially in a relationship where you care deeply for someone and see them getting a lot of attention from others. Your feelings of jealousy and sadness are valid, and acknowledging them is an important first step in managing them. Here are a few things to consider that might help you work through these feelings: Recognize the Root Cause: It sounds like the root of your feelings is insecurity—not necessarily about her, but about yourself and the attention you’re receiving (or not receiving). It’s natural to compare ourselves to others, but it’s important to remember that her receiving attention doesn’t diminish your value or your importance to her. Trust in her and the strength of your relationship. She’s with you, and that speaks volumes about how she feels. Talk to Your Girlfriend: Communication is key in any relationship. If you feel comfortable, talk to her about how you’re feeling. She may not be aware of how this is affecting you, and expressing your feelings could help her understand your perspective. Having an open and honest conversation can also help strengthen your bond and create a space where both of you can address any insecurities or concerns. Shift the Focus to Yourself: Instead of focusing on the attention she’s receiving, try to focus on building your own confidence. Self-love and self-acceptance are powerful tools in overcoming jealousy. Embrace your own qualities and remind yourself of the things that make you unique and special. Jealousy often arises from feeling less-than, so shifting your focus to self-improvement, hobbies, or things that make you feel good about yourself can help you feel more secure. Understand the Difference Between Attention and Connection: It’s important to differentiate between surface-level attention and the deep, emotional connection that you share with your girlfriend. Compliments and attention from others don’t mean that they have a stronger connection with her than you do. You’re her partner, and your bond is different—deeper—than any casual attention she might get from others. Try to focus on the special connection the two of you have, rather than the superficial attention from other people. Work on Building Your Own Self-Confidence: If you’re feeling overlooked or like you don’t get much attention, use this as an opportunity to explore why that might be. Do things that build your self-esteem and make you feel good about yourself—whether it’s focusing on your career, fitness, hobbies, or expanding your social circle. When you feel confident and secure in yourself, it becomes easier to handle those feelings of jealousy or insecurity. Remind Yourself of the Bigger Picture: Relationships are about trust, respect, and emotional intimacy. While it’s hard not to feel affected by attention from others, try to remind yourself of why you and your girlfriend are together. You’re in this relationship because you care about each other and have something special that goes beyond external validation. Final Thoughts: It’s okay to feel jealous, but it’s important to address these emotions in a healthy way. Rather than letting them overwhelm you, use this as an opportunity to work on building your own confidence and ensuring that both you and your girlfriend feel supported in the relationship. Keep the communication open with her, and focus on fostering a positive connection between the two of you. And remember—this is a journey, and it’s okay to have ups and downs. It’s how you navigate through them that counts. 166
Maude IvorMaude Ivor