Audrey Lorna year agoI’m feeling confused and conflicted in my relationship with my boyfriend (37M). We’ve been together for almost two years now, and things have been great between us for the most part. We have a lot of fun, laugh a lot, and I can tell he really cares about me. He’s very expressive when we’re together, and his family has even commented on how sweet he looks when he’s with me. Despite all of that, there’s something that’s been bothering me for a while. I found out that he’s been stalking the social media of a woman he had limerence for throughout the entirety of our 3-year relationship. He says he doesn’t love her anymore, but that he did for a decade and only stopped when we got together in 2022. He claims that he only searches for her when we’re not on good terms, but I can’t be certain of that. I came across this when I asked to see his browser history, and there were search results for her social media spread out over several months from 2023 to 2024. It’s left me questioning whether he really loves me. My mind tells me that if he truly cared about me, he wouldn’t emotionally cheat or risk our relationship in this way. At the same time, I see all these signs of infatuation from him when we’re together — the way he looks at me, the affection, and his voice. His family notices how sweet he is with me. But then his default demeanor is often stoic or melancholic, and I know he carries a lot of guilt and shame. He’s an INTP with a fearful-avoidant attachment style, so I’m wondering if that could be playing a role in this situation. I want to understand his behavior better and hear from others who may have experienced something similar. I’m really struggling to make sense of it all.155
Audrey LornAudrey Lorn