Silvia Anissa5 months agoI (F, 26) broke up with my first partner when I was 18. We went to different universities and decided to part ways on good terms. We agreed that staying in each other’s lives wouldn’t be beneficial for us. Fast-forward to today, I’m married and in a very healthy, committed relationship. I love my husband deeply and would never cheat on him. However, I occasionally check my ex’s social media profiles to see how he’s doing. I’m not attracted to him, I don’t have any romantic feelings for him, and I don’t miss him. I simply like to know what he’s up to and how he’s been. Sometimes, I do miss the friendship we had, but that’s the extent of it. Do you think there’s more to my actions? If so, what might it mean? I also feel like I need to stop doing this, and I’d appreciate any suggestions or insights on how to move past it. Advice: It’s natural to sometimes wonder about past relationships, especially when they were significant and had moments of closeness or friendship. The fact that you’ve moved on and are in a loving, committed relationship with your husband is clear, so your actions likely don’t point to any romantic interest in your ex. However, there may be other psychological reasons behind this habit: Nostalgia: It’s possible that what you’re feeling is a sense of nostalgia for the past, particularly the friendship and connection you had with your ex. Sometimes, we look back at old relationships to remember the good times or to check in on people who were once a big part of our lives. Curiosity: You may simply be curious about how your ex is doing, especially if you haven’t spoken in years. It’s human nature to wonder about the lives of people who were once important to us, even if we no longer feel romantically connected. Unresolved Feelings: Although you say you’re not attracted to him and don’t miss him, it’s possible that there are some lingering emotions from your past relationship that haven’t fully been processed. This could be related to the friendship aspect or the closure of that chapter in your life. Checking for Validation: It’s also possible that checking in on your ex gives you a sense of reassurance or validation. Sometimes we revisit old connections out of a desire to confirm that we’ve moved on and made the right choice in our current relationship. Suggestions to move forward: Reflect on your motivation: Take a moment to reflect on why you check your ex’s profile. Understanding the underlying reasons can help you make sense of your actions and decide whether or not they’re healthy for you. Focus on your present relationship: If you feel that this habit might affect your connection with your husband, it could be helpful to focus more on the relationship you have now. Reaffirm your commitment to your marriage and invest energy into strengthening your bond with your husband. Establish boundaries with the past: If you feel that looking at your ex’s profile is no longer serving you, try unfollowing or muting him on social media. This might help you stop the habit and redirect your attention toward your present and future. Talk to someone you trust: Sometimes, discussing these feelings with a close friend or therapist can help you gain clarity and understanding about why you may be doing this and how to let go of it if it’s no longer useful for you. Ultimately, it’s important to remember that checking on your ex doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with you or your relationship. However, if you feel it’s affecting your emotional well-being or your marriage, it could be helpful to establish boundaries with your past and focus on nurturing your present relationships.162