Madge Brice5 months ago"My boyfriend (21) and I (20) have been together for two years now and live together. He’s my first real relationship. I had a rough childhood that damaged my self-esteem, and before I met him, I genuinely believed that I couldn’t be loved for who I am. My boyfriend knows about my past, and I’ve grown a lot since being with him. The problem is, at the beginning of our relationship, I lied to him about my degree. I told him I was studying for the best degree you can get in our country, mainly because I was embarrassed and wanted him to like me. He always talked about how important it is to get that degree if you have the chance. The truth is, I was getting a very similar degree, the second-best one you can get, which still allows you to study almost everything, but it doesn't have the same level of freedom as the best degree. At that time, I was attending a different kind of school than I told him about. I just let it go after a while because I was too scared to confess the truth, but now, almost two years later, we’re in such a serious and solid relationship, and I feel really bad about the lie. Looking back, I realize it was such a stupid thing to do, and I feel guilty because I now understand that he loves me for who I am, not for the degree I have. I’ve learned that love is unconditional, but back then, I couldn’t grasp that idea. I know it wouldn't have mattered to him if I had told him the truth because he loves me for me. Can someone offer advice on how to tell him about this now and how to handle this situation? Thank you in advance!" Answer: It sounds like you're genuinely reflecting on your past actions and trying to make things right. It's great that you’ve recognized your growth and the unconditional love in your relationship. Here’s how to approach the conversation: Pick the right moment: This is an important conversation, so make sure you choose a time when both of you are relaxed and can talk without distractions. It's important that he has your full attention and can process what you're saying. Be honest and vulnerable: Start by acknowledging how you felt back then, and how you were insecure about yourself. Let him know that you were embarrassed and that, at the time, you felt you needed to lie in order for him to like you. Be open about the reasons behind the lie—your insecurities—and express that you regret not being truthful from the start. Focus on your growth: Explain that over time, you’ve grown and learned to understand what real love is. Emphasize that the lie was a reflection of where you were emotionally at the time, and that you now realize it wasn’t necessary because he has always loved you for who you truly are. Assure him it won’t affect your relationship: Reassure him that this lie doesn’t change how much you love and care for him. Let him know that you’re telling him the truth now because you value transparency and honesty, and you want to move forward in your relationship with no secrets. Be ready for his response: He might be surprised or need some time to process the information. Be patient and give him space to think. It’s important to allow him to express how he feels about the situation. Learn from it: This is an opportunity to demonstrate how you’ve grown and that you're committed to honesty moving forward. Show that you’re not the same person who told that lie, and that you're now more comfortable being open about your life. It’s understandable to feel nervous, but honesty is key in any relationship. He will likely appreciate your vulnerability and the fact that you want to be honest with him. Most importantly, trust that the love you share will help you both move through this together. 256
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