Mindy Janettaa year agoMy boyfriend [27m] keeps hurting my feelings but I [26f] am so conflicted if I’m just being dramatic My boyfriend [27m] and I [26f] have been together for six years, and have lived together for five years. The drinking culture in my country is a bit much so everyone could probably tone it down a bit, but my boyfriend has been particularly bad ever since his father passed two years ago and it’s been really rough. In general he takes really good care of me, he is very considerate and takes mind to do the little things like running errands and making me coffee. I’m not an easy person to be with, as I do suffer from depression which has worsened considerably as a young close family member suddenly passed in a tragic accident in the spring. I do go to work, study and go out though, so I’m not a complete disaster, just a sad homebody mostly. He drinks often, multiple times a week and it doesn’t matter that it’s a weekday. It messes with my schedule as he cannot come home quietly and we have a dog, so he wakes us both and hypes the dog up when he arrives at anywhere from 1-7 in the morning. I worry so much as he’s bad at communicating and will tell me he’ll be home at one time and then just won’t be with no message or call. He’s been assaulted multiple times while out so it’s so stressful. He has times when he comes home really sad and needs comforting and times he comes home to pick a fight where he (in my opinion) is extremely hard to reason with yet refuses to stop. I am so tired and sad. We’ve discussed this so many times and it’s like he agrees to change, but doesn’t really want to. I can’t expect him home when he says he will be, he doesn’t respect my time at all if I say I’d prefer him to be home early as I have work/school/projects and he lies, especially about how much he drinks or if he’s taken something (even though he’s promised to stop that completely). It’s really messing with my mental state and I feel so alone. I love him so much, but when he drinks it’s like he becomes an entirely different person and I really don’t like him like that, but it’s his coping mechanism for his grief so it seems like he just doesn’t want to/can’t give it up. I’m sorry for rambling but I just really need some advice on how to fix this. I seem to just not be able to communicate this with him properly. Tldr: boyfriend has a drinking problem that is ruining our relationship and me, and I can’t seem to fix it – what do I do?11.2K
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Mindy JanettaMindy Janetta