Emory Daniela5 months agoI (17F) met a guy (17M) when I was 16 after overhearing him talk about needing help with an assignment. I had already completed it, so I offered to help him out, but he ended up asking me to do the entire assignment for him, which was over 40 pages of written work and calculations. I agreed, and after I gave him the work, I thought that would be the end of it. However, he started texting me a lot, and we became close friends, sharing common interests. Later, I realized he had been using me for assignments, so I ghosted him. He apologized, and we started talking again. Our friendship grew stronger, and we talked on the phone every night, sharing everything and becoming emotionally close. Eventually, he started calling me pretty, saying I was different from other girls, and admitted that he liked me. I told him I loved him back, but in a platonic way. After school vacation, he ghosted me again, only to come back and tell me that a girl had asked him out and that they were now dating. I was happy for him but still supportive. Now, I'm concerned that I might be getting used again. He reached out to me several times to help him with his college essays, and I did. But he has started talking to people at school who bullied me when I was younger, and I feel hurt by it, knowing how much therapy I went through to rebuild my confidence. I’m not sure if our friendship was ever real or if I’m just being used for help. I’m wondering if I should stop being friends with him and, if so, how to go about it. Answer: It sounds like you’re in a tough situation, and your feelings are completely valid. It seems like this guy has repeatedly taken advantage of your kindness and emotional support, using you for school work and not prioritizing your feelings. His behavior, especially after he started talking to people who bullied you, shows a lack of respect for your emotional boundaries and well-being. It's important to recognize that friendships should be mutual and supportive. If you feel like you’re the only one putting in effort and you’re constantly being asked to give without receiving anything in return, that’s a red flag. It’s understandable that you’re questioning whether this friendship was genuine or if you’ve just been used. Here are a few steps to consider if you decide to end the friendship: Trust Your Feelings: If you feel that this relationship is not serving you and that you're being used, trust those feelings. Your emotional well-being should come first. Set Clear Boundaries: If you’re unsure about how to stop being friends, try setting some boundaries first. You can start by politely declining to help him with future assignments or essays. This will help create some distance and give him the chance to realize that the relationship can’t continue in the same way. Have an Honest Conversation: If you’re ready, consider having a direct conversation with him. Let him know how you feel about the situation and how his actions have impacted you. Explain that you feel like the friendship isn’t healthy and that you need to move on for your own peace of mind. Take Care of Yourself: Ending friendships can be difficult, but it’s crucial for your growth and mental health. Surround yourself with supportive friends who respect your boundaries and care about your well-being. You’re not obligated to stay in a relationship, whether it's a friendship or otherwise, if it makes you feel disrespected or used. Ending things on your terms and prioritizing yourself is the best decision you can make for your future happiness. 11.0K
Emory DanielaEmory Daniela