Kerena Andrew6 months agoMy (41M) girlfriend (32F) might have seasonal depression but it appears it may be more than that. Tl;Dr, was told my girlfriend might have seasonal depression but appears maybe more due to interactions over the last month and a half and uncertain if this relationship is still salvageable or not. So me and my girlfriend if 9 months have been going through a lot for more than a month now, it started before Thanksgiving or she felt that I wasn't pulling my weight around the house, (we have lived together now for 4 months). And she has been also upset because for some reason my dog keeps peeing in the house even though I keep taking him out multiple times a day. (He is too old to get fixed now, he's almost 11). Things were going great up until before Thanksgiving where we got into an argument about the house and cleaning and chores and other things. I agree. I hadn't pulling my weight so I went ahead and did my best to correct that, so I've been doing my best to keep the house clean and keep me up with thinking of my dogs. Messes and stuff like that. Who went to your parents for Thanksgiving and we got back to a good spot where we were bonded together and didn't have any more issues at the time. She then got into a car accident early in December and things really haven't been the same since. She was hurt but not to the extent of meeting high medical bills or anything, just a sprained ankle. But after that was taken care of she had to get a new vehicle and she went ahead and got another vehicle that was significantly lower in value of her vehicle that I was lost in the accident that was a total loss. I don't know if she's aware of it or not, but I was able to see the value of the payout versus the vehicle that she had gotten as a replacement. She didn't want to share the value of the payout to me for some reason even though it's through my insurance and they texted me the amount of the payout. This all becomes relevant later. She had to go to the hospital from the accident just to make sure she didn't have any eternal bleeding, she'd have a bruise and the sprained ankle but nothing else. Originally I was going to take her from the scene of the accident but she was argumentative and didn't want to go from the city of the accident to the hospital. So I eventually took her home from the accident scene and then got the claim started for her online and took care of the claim process for our insurance as well. And then after that I convinced her to go to the urgent Care. So she went to the urgent Care and was told to go to the hospital to make sure there was no one internal bleeding. I didn't offer to go with her because she wanted to run an errand before going to the hospital making it seem not very urgent in the first place. Joe, I ended up going with her and just continuing to work from home. Some time passes and things seem to be getting a little heated again as she's unsatisfied with how the bathroom was looking. So I go ahead and I clean up the bathroom for her and clean up a few other things for her and I'm cleaning up some other messes that she had left and we ended up getting into an argument after dinner one night and I kind of let it all out and how I felt. She came back with how she felt about the situation and how it still didn't seem like I was pulling my weight enough around the house and that she was also very mad about me not going to the hospital with her even though I had mentioned I wanted to take her from the scene of the accidents. I tried explaining that to her and we ended up making up and what appeared to at least seemed like we made up, having a good hug and a kiss and then when a better night. Everything seemed fine the following morning as well as she got up early for work, seeing the playful with waking me up playfully by lifting up the sheets and playfully fanning it at me while I laid in bed partially asleep, but what you came back from work she had mentioned that she needs to go away for the weekend to her mom's and I guess after that she ended up doing the whole car situation with her mom. So I guess she ended up getting some friend's vehicle for a low amount, but I was never told the price and how much she paid for it. She then pretty much since that weekend has been giving me the cold shoulder and we never really had spent any time together since. She had mentioned wanting her own space before leaving going to her mom's as well, so we did have a shared computer room set up where our gaming computers were next to each other so we could play the games together. But I ended up moving my computer out of that room and giving it essentially to her so she can enjoy a space of her own in the house and I put my gaming computer in my office with my work computer. After that she got home and she started moving some things here and there into that room that had her game computer in it. She's still been very stained office and not really doing much with me spending time with me or even giving me a hug or a kiss other than one single hug when we did a gifts exchange the day before Christmas Eve. Today she decided to make breakfast and made breakfast for my roommate and his daughter as well and didn't even think about including me, she felt bad that I saw that she didn't include me and ended up giving me a partially eaten pancake and a yogurt and I declined. I end up making my own breakfast and sitting in my office. Whole she eats with my roommate and his daughter. (Roommate has a gf and isn't interested in my gf and she isn't into him either). So the day goes on and I end up inviting her friend and her friend's boyfriend and her friend's daughter over so they can go ahead and open up. The Christmas presents that we got them before Christmas and she went ahead and assured a completely different side of herself with friends around and was happy and laughing and giggly... except to me. So I asked her friend to maybe speak with her a bit and find out more maybe and let me know if there's something I can do, so she ended up going to the store with her friends and got a couple groceries. Her friend ended up getting her and her boyfriend a frozen pizza and My girlfriend ended up making a meal for herself. Didn't really include me in that either. And didn't offer me anything, and ended up just sitting down at the table with her and her friend and her friend's boyfriend and her friend's daughter and once again not including me in dinner. So I ended up grabbing a salad I had in the refrigerator and just ended up eating it standing in the kitchen. Oh one of the things she ended up adding to her personal space was a futon and she got her mattress for it today and now is sleeping in there, I spoke to her friend and told her all about this and she says it's not really anything that I've done wrong specifically and said that maybe she's but then testing out the mattress in case her mom comes over and sleeps here, but it sure doesn't feel that way. She didn't even say goodnight to me or let me know any of this was happening, just did everything on her own without letting me know anything about the situation and that she was going to sleep there for the night. I'm not sure what to do in the situation, I'm not sure if this relationship is over or what, when she had came back from her mom's, I made sure the house was clean from top to bottom, I even hired somebody to do the floors and deep clean the tile and make sure that the house was spotless. I've also been keeping up with it since and making sure the bathroom is clean and doing my best to make sure there's no issues with my dog peeing anywhere or if he does for some reason I clean it immediately. Her friends even commented on how clean the house looked and wish their house was as clean as ours. I don't know what else there is to do in the situation as I've done everything that I could think of to trying to correct the issues that she had mentioned in the past but she just continues to be distant and won't talk to me about anything and it's eating me up inside. I'm literally having panic attacks about what has gone on but I can't show her any of that because if it is seasonal depression then I need to be supportive and not show her those side of things and just try to make her have a good environment so I've been making sure the place is clean and the windows are open and sunny when she needs them to be and I've been doing my best to keep giving her the space that she's asking and offering to get her lunch or make her food or do little things around the house. I've gotten her to play a couple games with me so far and we sat down once recently to go ahead and enjoy a show. But after today and her wanting to sleep in the other room now not even share a bed with me, I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm at my Wit's end and have just been in a bad place mentally during this whole thing. I've seen her interact with other people like my roommate and my roommate's daughter and her friends. I came over and they all seemed to get the happy -go-lucky smiles version of her, while I seem to keep getting the cold shoulder. Depression thing but I think it's a me thing and I don't know what else there is to do in this. Before any of this happened, this was the type of relationship that I had always wanted and it just felt right. So that's why I moved in together so fast, and she's been wonderful up until this point. But I don't know what there is to do anymore, she was literally always giving me love and it's affection and hugs and we cuddle all the time and now it's just nothing but distance and I don't know what to do anymore. I had talked to her best friend who doesn't currently live around us a bit as well and he said this is normal for her every year and that she's used to living alone and that this is new to her but all that's going on and everything I'm seeing, and the amount of money I saw her save from her payout from the insurance, it makes me feel like she's on her way out and wants to maybe use that money for figuring out her future living situation or something, but I'm not sure about that either. It's just been really rough, her best friend was the one that told me about her seasonal depression and how he used to be able to help her through it, but since he's not living near her anymore, he can't help her. But I'm still uncertain if it is seasonal depression only or if there's more to it.197
Kerena AndrewKerena Andrew