Cissy Stacia7 months ago"I, 35F, am attracted to a 29M that I work with. We don’t work closely together and really only see each other in passing a few times per day. I am very attracted to him and I believe he is also attracted to me. He has in the past tried to start a few conversations with me, but I was nervous and don’t feel I made a great impression. I do catch him looking at me, and I feel there could be something there, but I think he’s given up since I seemingly didn’t show any interest when he tried talking to me. I get so nervous around him so starting a conversation is very hard. Does anyone have any advice to show him I am interested and how to start a conversation even though I get so nervous and say dumb things around him? I already make eye contact and smile." Rewritten Answer/Advice: You’ve already made a solid foundation by making eye contact and smiling, which shows interest. Here’s how you can keep moving forward while managing your nerves: Start with a Simple Icebreaker: Since you’re both a bit shy, you could start with something casual and easy to say. For example, comment on something work-related, like a task or event happening at work. You could say something like, “I saw you working on that project the other day, how’s it going?” It gives you a natural way to start a conversation without feeling too much pressure. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Try asking questions that allow for more than just a yes or no answer. This can make conversations flow naturally. Questions about hobbies, interests, or weekend plans can open up more opportunities for engaging with him. For example: "Got any plans for the weekend?" or "What do you like to do outside of work?" These questions don’t have to feel like an interview, but they can give you something to talk about. Make Use of Non-Verbal Cues: It sounds like you already have a good sense of his interest through body language. Pay attention to his non-verbal cues—does he lean in when you talk, maintain eye contact, or smile at you? These are signs that he is interested. You can mirror these behaviors subtly, which might make him feel more comfortable and encourage more interactions. Be Honest About Your Nervousness: If you feel it’s appropriate, it can sometimes be helpful to acknowledge your nervousness in a lighthearted way. For example, “I’m usually not this shy, but for some reason, you make me nervous!” This can make you seem more approachable and let him know that you're open to talking without putting too much pressure on either of you. Let Conversations Flow Gradually: You don’t have to rush anything. If you keep making small, friendly interactions over time, it will naturally feel more comfortable. Don’t put pressure on yourself to make every conversation perfect. Just enjoy the moments when you get to talk to him. Look for Signals to Go Deeper: If the small talk starts flowing well, you can start steering conversations toward more personal topics, like shared interests. If you feel the conversation is going well, you could follow up with something like, “I love hearing about what you’re into outside of work. I’m always looking for new things to try, do you have any suggestions?” Gauge His Responses: After each interaction, pay attention to how he responds. If he seems engaged, continues the conversation, and makes efforts to spend time with you, these are good signs that he's interested in you too. If he's distant or avoids the conversation, you might need to give him more space. Conclusion: You’re already on the right track with eye contact and smiling. Now, try taking small steps to build a connection through casual conversations. Focus on the flow of conversation, be open, and enjoy getting to know him better. With time, your nerves will settle, and it will feel more natural. Just remember that showing interest doesn’t have to be overwhelming—small, consistent efforts will go a long way!263
Cissy StaciaCissy Stacia