Mitch Annabella6 months agoI’m 17 (F) and have been dating my boyfriend for about a month. We knew each other for about 3 weeks before we started dating, and things clicked really quickly. He’s super sweet and funny, and I genuinely enjoy being with him. But for some reason, something feels off, and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I think about it constantly, and I just feel so drained. When we’re together, I feel fine, but as soon as we’re apart, I start overthinking and doubting the relationship. I’m not sure if this is just relationship anxiety and overthinking, or if he might not be the right person for me. I don’t feel like he’s “the one” for me, but at the same time, there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. So, why do I feel drained? This is my first relationship, and I’m not sure what to do. We moved really fast, and I think that might be contributing to how I’m feeling. Should I just push through and hope this feeling fades, or do I need to break up with him? Any advice would be appreciated. Answer (Rewritten): First off, it’s completely normal to feel unsure and to overthink in a new relationship, especially since it’s your first. Relationships can be exciting and nerve-wracking, but it’s also important to listen to your gut and recognize when something doesn’t feel right. Relationship Anxiety is Real: It sounds like you might be experiencing relationship anxiety, which is really common, especially in new relationships. When you feel unsure or start second-guessing things, it can lead to feeling drained and constantly questioning your emotions. This kind of anxiety can be more intense if things have moved fast. The pressure of a new relationship can sometimes overwhelm us, especially if we're still figuring out what we want. Moving Too Quickly: It’s also possible that moving quickly in the relationship has added to the emotional strain. When relationships move fast, it can make it harder to pace yourself and process everything. Sometimes, the intensity of the early stages can make things feel overwhelming and cause doubts to creep in. It’s okay to slow down and take time to understand what you want and how you feel. You’re Still Learning About Yourself: Remember that this is your first relationship, and you’re still figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t. You may not feel like he’s “the one,” and that’s okay. Relationships don’t always have to be about finding your life partner; they can be about growth, learning, and understanding what you need from a partner. Trust Your Feelings: The fact that you feel drained and are constantly second-guessing things is worth paying attention to. If you’re feeling this way consistently, it could be a sign that something isn’t aligning with your needs or what you're looking for. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a bad person or that the relationship is wrong, but it might mean that you’re not fully compatible or that the timing isn’t right. Communication and Reflection: Before making any decisions, consider having an open conversation with your boyfriend about how you’re feeling. It might help to share that you’re dealing with some anxiety and just want to slow down a bit. If he’s understanding and supportive, it could help take some pressure off the relationship and give you the space to figure things out. Take Your Time: You don’t have to rush to make a decision. If you feel like you’re constantly doubting or feeling drained, it’s okay to step back and take a break. You can’t force yourself to feel something if it’s not there. It’s better to take time to understand your feelings rather than force the relationship to continue just because you think you should. At the end of the day, trust your instincts. If the feelings of doubt and anxiety persist, it might be a sign that the relationship isn’t fulfilling what you need right now. It’s okay to walk away and take time for yourself to figure out what you truly want in a relationship. You’re still young, and there’s no rush to settle into something that doesn’t feel right. 54
Mitch AnnabellaMitch Annabella