Briggs Samson5 months agoI'm feeling unsure about how to end this situationship with someone I care about, and I need some advice. Here’s the context: I (28, trans woman) met this guy (28, straight) while playing an online game. At first, I didn’t think he was serious because he hadn’t even seen what I looked like, and I know many straight men might not be interested in dating a trans woman. However, he seemed genuine, so I decided to give him a chance. Eventually, we exchanged social media and video chatted. He wasn’t bothered by how I looked, even though I was just beginning my transition. On the other hand, I didn’t find him physically attractive, and I was worried about what my friends might think. Still, I decided to continue talking to him because it felt nice to be seen and appreciated for the first time in years. Over time, my feelings grew. He was kind, supportive, and open with me, even sharing some personal experiences, like his time in prison for selling weed (he was released earlier this year). I didn’t judge him and appreciated his honesty. Some of my friends warned me he might be love-bombing me, but I didn’t feel that way. We’ve been talking for four months, mostly through WhatsApp, since he lives 50+ kilometers away. We’d have long conversations, watch movies and anime together, and he’d even stay up late with me while I worked. However, I’ve started noticing things I don’t like: He’s not working. He says he has family businesses, but I never see him actually working. Instead, he spends most of his time playing online games. He hasn’t made any effort to meet me. Although his excuses are understandable (like his expired driver’s license and my dislike for commuting), it’s been four months with no real plan to meet. Recently, I’ve realized I’ve lost the spark. The holidays made me reflect, and I realized I miss being single. I miss not having to update someone all the time or feeling like I have to be the source of someone else’s happiness. We even had a fight a few weeks ago, and I was ready to end things, but I felt guilty when he said I was the reason he didn’t feel lost after leaving prison. Now, I feel stuck. I don’t want to hurt him, especially during the holidays. I know I want to end it, but I don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t want to ghost him, but I can’t continue in something that no longer feels right for me. Am I wrong for wanting to end this? How can I break up with him without hurting him too much? TL;DR: I want to end this situationship because it no longer feels right for me, and I’m not sure how to break it off without causing him pain.140
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