Dragica Mare6 months agoI (25F) recently married my husband (25M) in late November 2024 after dating for almost five years. Not long ago, he got really into fitness, and it’s been paying off for him—he’s been working hard at the gym, and I’ve noticed his progress. On the other hand, I’ve tried to go to the gym with him, but after a long day at work in an office job, I find myself too tired to keep up with his gym routine. Over time, I stopped going. I’ve always been around 130 pounds and have been at that weight for as long as I can remember. I’ve always felt comfortable with my body and didn’t see the need to obsess over the gym. However, recently, my husband started making comments about my appearance. He’s been calling me things like “chunky monkey” and “fat baby,” usually when I’m in the middle of eating. These comments completely kill my appetite, and I’ve found myself getting upset and lashing out at him, asking why he’s body-shaming me. He keeps saying he’s “just joking.” Eventually, he apologized, but his explanation shocked me. He admitted that he’d been making these comments because he saw me “lounging” around the house too much, and he wanted to motivate me to go back to the gym. I was honestly baffled by this reasoning. I had taken a break from working out because I was feeling burnt out from work and needed rest. For a few weeks, I’ve been staying in more to recharge and get my energy back. The idea that he thought I didn’t deserve a break, or that my rest wasn’t valid, really hurt. This whole situation feels especially painful because, throughout our entire relationship, I’ve never made comments about his appearance—even when he went through a phase where he gained weight. I’ve always appreciated him for who he is, not just for how he looks. I thought he felt the same about me, but now his sudden comments on my appearance make me feel betrayed. I’m still the same weight I was when we first met, and I never expected him to treat me this way. Now, I’m struggling with how to move forward. I feel like my self-image has been shattered, and I don’t know how to recover from this. How do I rebuild my confidence after this incident, and how do I address this with him?1985
Dragica MareDragica Mare