Tye Danaa year agoMy(38M) wife (35F) lost a lot of weight to gain the attention of her work crush. How do I move forward? CONCLUDED I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRAcrushedhusbnd My(38M) wife (35F) lost a lot of weight to gain the attention of her work crush. How do I move forward? Originally posted to r/relationship_advice TRIGGER WARNING: emotional infidelity Original Post Dec 9, 2024 After we had our kids my wife gained a lot of weight, like 80 pounds. And honestly I was fine with it. I thought she was still hot and my desire for intimacy never waned. So for a while she was fine with her weight too. Fast forward a five years and all of a sudden my wife gets really into fitness and nutrition. She buys a peloton, goes on a strict diet and loses all the weight and then some. She looks like she did when I met her in her early 20s. She looks great but like I said I thought she looked great heavy too. Then one day last week she comes home from work and I can tell something is really bothering her. I ask what’s wrong but she’s just evasive and distant. This lasts a few days before she finally breaks. She tells me that the reason she was so determined to lose weight was because she wanted attention from the guy at work she has a crush on. She said that all the women have a crush on this guy and she just wanted his attention. Well apparently she got too much of it on the day she came home so upset. He had apparently been flirting with my wife for a few weeks and that day he asked her if she wanted to have dinner with him after work at a restaurant that just so happens to be in a hotel. He heavily implied that they could get a room afterward or even skip the restaurant and just get room service. She tells me that to this point it was all just fantasy in her head but now it was real and she snapped out of it. She realized that she’d gone way too far. She declined his invitation of course and felt she needed to confess what she’d done to me. I was crushed and still am. First, I’m actually upset she told me. I know this is some form of cheating but I didn’t suspect anything. She could have just kept this to herself and not pass her burden onto me. So the thought comes to my mind that maybe she wants me to dump her so she can be with this guy and that’s why she is telling me. So I ask her that and she breaks down crying. That’s not what she wants, she says she loves me and just wanted to be honest with me and apologize. Nothing physical happened, I’m pretty sure of it. I can track her phone and also have pretty free access to it. She never hides it, leaves it everywhere and that phone never leaves work. I suppose she could be cheating on her lunch break and leave the phone but I just don’t think she’d leave the phone and not be available for the kids. So I don’t think I want to divorce, I love her and we have kids. But it’s just eating at me that she did all the work she did to be attractive for another man. I don’t know where to go or even what to ask of her. I just need some advice. 655
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Tye DanaTye Dana