Starla Addilyn6 months agoI'm a stay-at-home mom, and my husband works full-time. We're both exhausted from the Christmas season—he from his busy work schedule, and me from putting a lot of effort into making the holidays special, especially since this might be the first year my daughter will have faint memories of them. In May of 2024, we lost our second baby, a three-month-old daughter, to a congenital heart defect, and it was devastating. It was such a tough time, and Christmas was the first time in a long while that I truly felt happy and was able to enjoy myself again. Yesterday was my daughter’s birthday. I asked my husband if he wanted to help me assemble the sandbox we got her, and he said “later.” For dinner, we planned to make her favorites: spaghetti and breaded chicken cutlets, which he’s great at making and often says, “Daddy made your favorite!”—sometimes even making it just for her. I mentioned that making meatballs too might be too much, and he said it was fine, but then just played some Call of Duty on the PS4, which had recently moved to his older son's room. I didn’t mind much since she was still asleep. I woke her up, gave her some presents, and she loved watching him play her favorite game, Hot Wheels Unleashed. We had breakfast, and I asked him what time my mom should come over and whether we should skip her nap so we could eat earlier. He just said, “I don’t know, babe, you figure it out.” I told my mom to come at 4:30, skipping the nap, and then I assembled the sandbox and set it up for her. I also cleaned up, did the dishes, and baked her birthday cake and frosting from scratch, while he watched college football. He even had the day off in the middle of the week for New Year's Day. A few hours later, I asked him if he was going to the store for the chicken (the one thing I hadn’t gotten the day before), and we argued. I got upset, asking why I had to do everything, even dinner, which was supposed to be his dish. After a bit of back-and-forth, he went to the store. Later, when my mom arrived, I noticed time was ticking, and he was still sitting there watching football. I texted him asking if we could eat soon because my daughter was getting cranky. He replied, “So am I making dinner??” I went ahead and made it myself, feeling frustrated. It was his dish, the one he always makes for her. Why wouldn’t he do it on her birthday? I realize I should’ve been clearer with him, but when I tried to discuss the day earlier, he wasn’t receptive. I was livid and expressed everything I was feeling, asking him why he was acting this way. He was acting surprised that he hadn't done anything. It was her birthday! He loves birthdays, but he was disengaged, watching bowl games that weren’t even involving his team. It just didn’t make sense to me, and I feel crazy for feeling this way. And to make matters worse, my mom, at the end of the night, told me, “You don’t need to eat anymore cake.” She says little things like that often, and it’s hurtful. I’m about 20 pounds heavier than I’d like to be, but this year has been incredibly stressful, and I’m doing my best. If you’ve read this far, thank you. I don’t really know what I’m looking for—maybe just a hug.5654
Starla AddilynStarla Addilyn