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"I’m in a situationship with someone, and there’s definitely a spark between us. We’re very flirty and have a strong connection, but we’re not officially dating. I feel like she’s waiting for me to confess my feelings, but I’m unsure if I truly love her or if I’m just using her as an outlet for the love I’ve been holding in. I can’t imagine doing the things I do with her with anyone else, maybe just a couple of people. I do want to date her, but I don’t want to enter into a relationship if my feelings aren’t genuine. So, I’m wondering if giving love to someone means I love them."

5 months ago
80

It's understandable to feel confused in a situationship, especially when there is a strong connection but no official commitment. The feelings you have for her, combined with your uncertainty about whether they are genuine love or simply an outlet for your emotions, can make this a challenging situation.


First, let's explore the concept of love. Love can manifest in various forms, such as romantic love, platonic love, and self-love. Romantic love typically involves a deep emotional connection, desire for intimacy, and a commitment to the other person's well-being. However, love isn't just about feelings; it also encompasses actions and intentions.

To determine if your feelings for her are genuine, consider the following:

  • Quality of Time Spent Together: Reflect on the time you spend with her. Do you genuinely enjoy her company? Do you look forward to seeing her, or is it more about fulfilling a need for connection? For example, if you find yourself excited to share experiences and create memories with her, that could indicate deeper feelings.
  • Emotional Safety: Do you feel comfortable being vulnerable around her? Love often involves sharing your true self with someone, including fears and insecurities. If you can open up to her and feel accepted, that’s a positive sign.
  • Future Considerations: Think about your future. Can you envision a relationship with her beyond the current situationship? If you find yourself imagining a life together, it may suggest that your feelings are more than just temporary.
  • Comparison to Others: You mentioned that you can’t imagine doing what you do with her with anyone else. This is significant because it shows a unique bond. If you find that your connection with her stands out compared to past or potential partners, it might indicate a deeper affection.

It's also important to consider the emotional aspect of love. Just because you are giving love (through affection, attention, or time) does not automatically mean you are in love. Love often involves a deeper emotional investment and a desire for a lasting connection. If you feel like you are using her as an outlet for your love, it might be beneficial to explore those feelings further. Ask yourself:

  • Are you seeking comfort in her because of your own emotional needs?
  • Do you genuinely care for her as an individual, or are you projecting your feelings onto her?

Open communication is vital in any relationship, especially in a situationship. If you sense that she is waiting for you to express your feelings, it may be worth having an honest conversation with her. You could express your uncertainty while also acknowledging the connection you share. For example, you might say:

"I really enjoy what we have, and I feel a strong connection with you. However, I want to be honest about my feelings because I don’t want to rush into anything until I know for sure where I stand."

This approach shows respect for her feelings while giving you the space to explore your own. It's important to be honest with yourself and her, as this will help both of you navigate your emotions effectively.

Ultimately, love is a complex emotion that evolves over time. Taking the time to reflect on your feelings and communicate openly will help you determine the best path forward for both you and her. Whether you choose to pursue a relationship or take a step back, being true to your feelings is essential for a healthy connection.

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