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Until recently, I thought I was aromantic. The women I dated never made me feel like I was experiencing that "Disney fairytale" type of love. I had completely given up on the idea of love and thought a committed relationship just wasn’t meant for me—until I met this incredible woman a few days ago. Now, I’m confused about whether what I’m feeling is actually love. Most romance novels and movies show love as a feeling that comes from inside the chest, but I’m having a completely different experience. I want to know if what I’m feeling is love, or something else. When I’m around her, I don’t feel a sensation in my chest. Instead, I feel this buzzing energy under my skin—it’s incredible. It’s like my skin is glowing, and I feel like I’m radiating positive energy. For those of you who have experienced love and aren’t aromantic, is this the feeling of love, or is it something else?

6 months ago
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Your experience is both intriguing and valid, and it's important to recognize that love can manifest in various ways, often differing from the conventional portrayals found in movies and romance novels. Let's explore what you’re feeling and how it might relate to love.

Firstly, what you describe—a buzzing energy under your skin—can be a manifestation of strong attraction or infatuation. This feeling may not align with the typical "heart flutter" sensation often depicted in media, but it can be just as meaningful. Many people experience love differently; for some, it’s a calm, warm feeling, while for others, it can be an exhilarating surge of energy.

Romantic love can be categorized into different stages:

  • Attraction: This is typically characterized by physical and emotional chemistry. The excitement you feel, such as the buzzing energy, often comes from the release of hormones like dopamine and adrenaline, which can create feelings of euphoria and heightened sensitivity.
  • Attachment: As you get to know someone better, feelings of attachment may grow, often accompanied by a sense of comfort and stability. This stage might be where you start to feel more traditional sensations associated with love.
  • Intimacy: Deepening emotional connections can lead to a more profound sense of love, characterized by trust, vulnerability, and mutual understanding.

It's also worth considering that love is not a one-size-fits-all emotion. For example, some people might experience love as a sense of calm and security rather than the excitement you’re feeling. Others might not feel a physical sensation in their chest at all but instead feel a deep emotional connection or a desire to share their lives with someone.

Here are a few examples of how love can manifest differently:

  • Passionate Love: This often includes intense feelings of attraction and excitement, which may align with your current experience. Think of the initial stages of a relationship where everything feels new and electric.
  • Companionate Love: This is characterized by deep affection, mutual respect, and a strong bond. It may develop over time and might not include the same level of excitement but is equally valid and fulfilling.

To further understand your feelings, consider the following questions:

  • Do you feel a desire to connect with her on a deeper level, beyond physical attraction?
  • Are you interested in her thoughts, feelings, and experiences?
  • Do you envision a future with her, or do you feel content in the moment?

If your answers lean towards a desire for deeper connection and mutual understanding, then what you are feeling may very well be love, even if it doesn't fit the traditional mold. Remember that love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can evolve over time.

Ultimately, your feelings are valid, and exploring them can lead to a deeper understanding of both yourself and your capacity for love. Trust your instincts and allow your emotions to guide you as you navigate this new and exciting experience.

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