When it comes to sharing phone passwords between spouses, the conversation often delves into trust, privacy, and boundaries within a relationship. Your situation presents a nuanced perspective on these issues.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that sharing personal passwords can be a reflection of the level of trust and transparency in a relationship. In many healthy partnerships, couples might choose to share passwords as a sign of openness.

However, privacy is also a vital aspect of any relationship. Each partner should feel comfortable maintaining a degree of personal space, even in a marriage.

In your case, the history of your husband's struggle with substance use complicates the matter. His reluctance to share his password could stem from a desire to maintain some personal autonomy, especially after having gone through a challenging period in his life. For example, he may feel that having personal boundaries helps him in his recovery process, as it allows him to manage his privacy and avoid potential triggers.

On the other hand, your willingness to share your password indicates a desire for transparency and trust. It's understandable that you might feel concerned or even suspicious, especially given the past issues with drug use. Trust is built over time, and while your husband has made significant strides by maintaining sobriety for nearly two years, the lingering effects of past behaviors can create a sense of insecurity.

It may be beneficial to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about this topic. Express your feelings without accusations. For example, you might say:

"I understand that you want to maintain your privacy, but I feel that sharing our passwords could strengthen our trust and communication. Can we talk about what sharing your password means to you?"

This approach invites him to share his thoughts and feelings about privacy and trust, rather than putting him on the defensive. It’s essential to listen to his perspective as well, as he may have valid reasons for wanting to keep his password private.

Moreover, consider discussing the concept of mutual trust. Trust is a two-way street; while you share your password, it’s essential that both partners feel secure in their choices. If he is unwilling to share his password, perhaps you could establish other ways to build trust, such as regular check-ins about feelings, boundaries, and any concerns that arise.

Ultimately, the decision to share passwords should be mutual and based on the comfort levels of both partners. It’s vital to approach this topic with empathy and understanding, recognizing that both privacy and transparency hold important places in a healthy relationship.

In summary, while it may feel unfair that your husband is withholding his password, it’s essential to consider his perspective and the context of your relationship. Open communication can help bridge the gap between your differing views on privacy and trust.