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What does it actually feel like to love and be loved? question I came to the conclusion this morning that I have never actually loved any man I've ever dated. And that after the traumas and sexual abuse, I can say for certain that they never loved me either. There's this one man I HAVE loved for over a decade and we've never really had the chance to give it a go. It's always the wrong timing. Growing up, love, communication, praising was lacking in my childhood. I think I don't know HOW to love or what it feels like to be actually loved. What does love feel like? What does BEING IN LOVE feel like? How do you know you love someone? How do you know they love you? How did you know your spouse was the one?

6 months ago
74

Understanding love can be a complex journey, especially when past experiences shape how we perceive and experience it. Here’s a detailed exploration of what it feels like to love and be loved, along with insights into recognizing these feelings.

What Does Love Feel Like?

Love is often described as a profound, selfless affection towards someone. It can manifest in various ways, including:

  • Emotional Connection: A deep bond that makes you feel understood and accepted. You may find yourself sharing thoughts, dreams, and vulnerabilities with this person.
  • Joy and Happiness: Being in love often brings a sense of joy, excitement, and fulfillment. You might feel a warmth in your heart when you think about them or spend time together.
  • Support and Care: Genuine love involves wanting the best for the other person. You may feel compelled to support them during tough times, celebrate their achievements, and prioritize their well-being.

What Does Being in Love Feel Like?

Being in love often encompasses a range of emotions and physical sensations, such as:

  • Butterflies in Your Stomach: A fluttery feeling when you see or think about the person, often described as "butterflies."
  • Intense Focus: You may find that your thoughts frequently drift to this person. They occupy your mind in both mundane and significant moments.
  • Physical Attraction: A strong desire to be close to them, which may include wanting to hold hands, hug, or share intimate moments.

How Do You Know You Love Someone?

Recognizing love can be challenging, especially if you have experienced trauma that distorts your feelings. Some signs include:

  • Prioritizing Their Happiness: You genuinely want them to be happy, even if it means making sacrifices.
  • Feeling Safe: You feel secure and comfortable being your true self around them, without fear of judgment.
  • Longing for Their Presence: You miss them when they’re not around and look forward to spending time together.

How Do You Know They Love You?

Recognizing love from others can be equally nuanced. Signs that someone loves you might include:

  • Consistent Support: They are there for you during both good and bad times, showing reliability and commitment.
  • Affectionate Gestures: They express their love through actions, whether it’s through small acts of kindness or physical affection.
  • Open Communication: They share their thoughts and feelings with you and encourage you to do the same, fostering a sense of intimacy.

How Did You Know Your Spouse Was The One?

Many people describe a “click” or a sense of completeness when they meet their partner. Factors that might indicate they are “the one” include:

  • Shared Values: Alignment in core beliefs, life goals, and family values can create a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
  • Feeling at Home: A sense of comfort and belonging with them, as if you can truly be yourself without pretense.
  • Growth Together: You both encourage each other to grow and become better individuals, supporting each other's dreams.

In your situation, it’s important to acknowledge the impact of past traumas on your ability to love and be loved. Healing from those experiences can open up pathways to better understand and experience love. It might be beneficial to seek professional help, such as therapy, to work through these feelings and develop healthier relationships in the future.

Ultimately, love is a journey that involves both vulnerability and strength. It’s about learning to trust, communicate, and connect deeply with another person. Remember, love can take time to develop, and it’s okay to explore these feelings at your own pace.

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